Boredom Can Be Deadly
by crossroadswrite
Summary: In which Jim Moriarty is a shape shifting alien and Sherlock Holmes it's his broken science project. He might just need the Doctor's help to fix it. And of course it never hurt anyone to throw a little Jack Harkness into the mix.


Cardiff was so very different of anything else that he had ever seen. It was. . . very human and very dirty. For his first time around this particular part of earth he was not impressed. Not in the least.

He sniffed and got up from the park bench where he had been sitting.

Enough of this. He had to find him. A very special man that could save the world. A man that was not from here, but seemed to fit right in, although he didn't have a home. Not really. A lost boy.

He walked right into the little wooden door. He had enough of this waiting. Now was the right time.

The ape behind the counter looked up at him and blinked, before throwing a charming smile and stating "I'm sorry, sir. Can I help you?"

He tilted his head and took a sniff at the air.

The man smelled like coffee and sex, and maybe a little bit of aftershave. But mostly sex.

"I would like to talk with the Captain."

The man clearly startle at that, although he had to give him credit for recovering so fast.

"And who might you be, sir?" he continued, still so polite.

He liked this ape. Polite and brave.

He cracked a smile. This part was always fun.

"Honey, I can be whoever you want me to be." and then with a roll of his head he changed his appearance.

The man, Ianto, if he wasn't mistaken, took a step back and gasped.

"Jack?!"

He took a couple of steps forward and leaned over the desk, licking his lips and batting the blue eyes he knew he had.

"No. But I would like to talk with him, please."

Ianto straightened up and smoothed down his suit.

He took a step towards him and smirked.

"What do you want with Jack?"

"Don't worry, Ianto. I don't want to steal your boyfriend. You apes are very good at sex, but I'm not interest."

"What's the matter? You don't swing our way."

"Oh, honey, I swing every way you want me to." he replied with one flirtatious smile.

Ianto reached for the gun in the waistband of his pants and trained at him.

"Bravo." He spit out, dripping sarcasm "You have the upper hand. I am shaking in my very expensive shoes." He rolled his eyes at him "I'm all for the dramatics, believe me, but this is getting annoying. Put your gun down, I just want to have a nice chit chat with Captain Beefcake."

He looked up at the camera and winked.

"Come out and play O' Captain. Your Doctor wants to make an appointment." he said, raising his voice a little bit more than what was strictly necessary.

He rolled his head and turned back into the self he had adopted, waiting for Jack to come running for his Doctor.

They always did. His Children of Time always come running back at the mere mention of his name.

How predictable.

The wooden panel opened up and Captain Jack Harkness carefully stepped out, gun trained on his head.

He rolled his eyes. Ordinary people were so annoying.

"What do you want with the Doctor?" Jack growled at him "And who the hell are you?"

He sniffed "You Americans are so rude."

Jack's friends flanked him, all of them with their guns trained on his head.

"You can call me Jim. Jim Moriarty." he smirked at them, slowly licking his lips.

"And what do you want with the Doctor?"

"First things first. Put your guns down." he said calmly, thrusting his hands into his pockets and rocking on his heels.

Captain Jack smirked at him.

"But why? We are having so much fun with the toys, _honey_."

Oh, he liked Jack. Might even have a go at him. Maybe it would stop the boredom for a couple of minutes.

He chuckled and then abruptly stopped.

"Very funny, but daddy's had enough now." he sing-sung "Put your guns down or this is going to be very unpleasant for both of us."

Jack was still smirking "And how do you plan to do that?"

Jim shrugged until his shoulders reached his ears. And then he slowly took the device from his coat pocket. He twirled it in front of Jack and finally pointed it at the guns making all of them inoperative.

"Do you like my sonic screwdriver?" he asked kissing the device and putting it into his pocket again.

Jack tried to shoot him, but the gun wasn't working.

And he was bored already.

"Okay, let's move along so I can get back to business. I just want one thing and you have it inside that funny little brain of yours. Two words."

He said.

"For what?" Jack barked, seemingly ready to tear him apart with his bare hands.

"I told you already, were you NOT LISTENING?!" he shouted at them.

Jim straightened up his coat and talked again more calmly "I just want the Doctor's help to fix a little problem of mine."

"What problem?" Jack demanded.

Jim sighed. Why did he trouble himself with this?! Annoying, annoying, ANNOYING!

He stepped forward and Jack stepped in his way with both fists raised mid-air.

"Oh, don't be simple." he spit out, moving around him and walking towards the computer in the counter. He touched the screen with one finger and the image immediately appeared.

A man falling off an hospital building over, over, over and over again.

"This right here. It's broken." he complained.

"You want the Doctor to fix a broken video?" Jack arched an eyebrow.

Jim rubbed his forehead "It's NOT A VIDEO. It's happening right now on a loop. It's broKEN! I want him to FIX IT."

"Oh God." Toshiko breathed "You mean that that's a real man. That's real? He's real?"

Jim smirked "Oh, he's the real alright."

Jim sat on the chair with a flourish and looked up at Jack and the rest of his. . . _gang_.

"So what do you say Jackie-Jack? We'll bring your Doctor back and save a man's life and you just need to give me two teeny tiny words."

Jack squinted at him, blue eyes trying to gauge his reaction. He would find none. His face remained smirking and relaxed. Nothing could affect him, not with the cold blood that ran in his veins. Quite literally.

"Okay. Toshiko, Owen, Gwen, Ianto. You can go now. Me and Mr. Handsome over here are going to have a little talk." Jack said looking at him and licking his lips.

The others hesitated for a second, but left at their captain's orders, Ianto being the last one to go, throwing him a dirty look.

Hm, might have a go at him too.

Jack hopped onto the desk and crossed his legs leaning forward, using his hand to support his head.

He blinked a couple of times and then squinted at him.

"What is in it for you?" he asked slowly, articulating every word carefully. "You don't seem to care about that man's dead. I mean you're not devastated by it. It's just as if you have lost your favorite toy and you're annoyed by it."

"Oh, you're clever. I see why he took you with him." he said appreciatively "But him," he pointed his thumb at the screen that was still recording the man falling "he's a genius. Think of your precious Doctor. He's just as smart, maybe a little bit more. But you want to know why he's perfect? He's a sociopath without all of those crippling emotions clouding his judgment or his thinking process. The way he does what he does is truly extraordinary. Nothing you could ever expect to begin understanding. He's me, but human."

"Sounds like you have a crush." Jack said with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

Jim huffed "You humans are so simple, so short-minded."

And suddenly he was off of his chair and inches away from Jack "Now, I just need my two words."

Jack exhaled loudly and leaned back and away from him "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh, I know. Don't worry about that. I just need your permission."

"My permission?" Jack asked confused.

"Yes, your permission to look inside that mind of yours. You see, the two words I'm looking for are something that were always there guiding him, but that not even he noticed. Not at first, at least."

Jim raised one of his fingers and waved it over Jack's forehead.

"What do you say, Captain? Want to call your boyfriend back or what?"

He watched as Jack hesitated just slightly before nodding his head.

Touching his forefinger to Jack's forehead, Jim gained access to every single memory living there.

He searched around, looking in every corner and cranny until he finally found what was looking for.

His two words.

_Bad Wolf._

: : : :

Jack's waiting for him near the rift. Jim Moriarty did some mambo-jumbo with the computer and suddenly every single electronic thing in Cardiff was transmitting the two words.

It's been about five minutes since it started, when the noise starts. The sound of the fabric of the universe ripping and seconds later the blue box appears.

He beams at that, and loses no time, running towards it as fast as he can.

"Doctor!" he calls out, making the Time Lord, step out and look around towards him.

"Jack!" he says, letting a smile creep into his face.

When he finally reaches him, he does the only thing he could. He hugs him, lifting him slightly off the ground.

"Wow, Jack. Put me down. You're making me look bad." He complains, fixing his tie when his feet .

"Well, that was different. Missed me much." He asks with a smirk.

"You have no idea. All those nights all alone and-"

"Stop it." He grumbles.

The Doctor looks around him and pulls at his ear.

"Look, Jack, it's been nice and all but I need to go find-"

"Rose." He finishes for him "She's not here Doctor."

"What?"

"I sent the signal."

"What?!"

"I have an alien that needs your help.2

"What!" he trusts his hands into his hair and spins around, looking at his surroundings. "Your bloody Torchwood. Why did you have to call me? Did it occur to you that I could be busy?"

He's more pissed about the fact that Rose isn't here than he is about being tricked. Jack knows that, and he also knows that he's going to help him.

"Where you busy?"

"Well. . . that's not my point. The point is-"

"So you can help. Come on, Doc. What's the last time you and me had a little adventure."

His face goes dark at that, he looks down and starts rubbing at his neck.

"Right. You're right. One last adventure." He mumbles almost to himself. "Let's go then."

Jack beams at him and offers him his arm, which he shakes his head to and rolls his eyes, starting to walk away from him.

"Uh. . . Doctor. The other way." He calls out.

The Doctor makes a sharp turn and starts walking the opposite way.

: : : :

Jim is sitting relaxed on the chair in Jack's office when the big unbreakable doors roll to one side letting the immortal man and the Doctor walk in.

He watches has the Time Lord looks around absorbing his surroundings. He hears him whistle and say something to Jack, making him crack a smile.

Everyone on Jack's team as deviated their attention to the Time Lord, ignoring him for now.

He watches Gwen shake his hand, smiling broadly at him, he watches Owen given him the once over acknowledging his presence with a nod of his head and he watches Toshiko blush slightly and shake his head while tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

The Doctor holds her hand and squints his eyes at her. He turns to jack and asks something. Jack just smiles and nods his head, making the Doctor turn a beaming smile at Toshiko and say something that confuses her. He then gestures broadly towards his ears and flattens his hair.

From where he's standing he can't see Toshiko's face, but he can see the exact moment when she recognizes him, or at least assumes that she has seen him before with a different face.

Jack says something that sends his team back to their posts and turns towards him, pointing the way to the Doctor.

Jim adjusts the cuffs of his dress shirt and twisted the chair so he will be facing the door.

The Doctor is not the one he's encountered before. This one must be an older version of him, because the last him he saw was fresh out of the bowtie world and straight into his next regeneration. In fact, he might or might not be in the cause of said regeneration.

"Hello, then. I understand you wanted to talk with me, or too me. Whatever the case, let's hurry this up because I have places to be, civilizations to save. Time is of the essence." He cracks a grin after that and looks at Jack "I always wanted to say that. Time is of the essence. So dramatic."

Jim is raising one eyebrow at him, starting to doubt that this earlier version of the Doctor will be able to do what he need done. But looks can be deceiving. That's what the man is all about. The next him looks like an overexcited puppy giraffe and still he was one of the smartest if not the smartest man he had ever encounter. That is, excluding him, of course.

"Hello, Doctor. I'm Jim Moriarty-"

"What? Like in Sherlock Holmes. That Jim Moriarty?" he asks tilting is head slightly.

"Exactly like that." He confirms with a grin of his own "Now, Doctor, could you help me with a little problem I'm having?"

"That's what I'm here for. The Doctor. Here to help." He turns to Jack again, who is standing more in the sidelines, cautiously eyeing Jim "I should get that on a tag."

"You could graffiti it on the TARDIS." Jack suggest, making the Doctor look downright shocked.

"Jack Harkness I will certainly not be doing that. My poor old girl." He shakes his head at Jack while Jack smiles broadly at him. "Well, enough chit chat." He moves forward and lets himself settle in one of the chairs in front of the desk "I feel like I'm doing a job interview." He says twisting his nose distastefully.

"Well, Doctor. My problem?"

"Yes, what about it?"

Jim touches the screen where the man is falling and turns it to the Doctor.

He leans forward, taking his glasses out of his stripped jacket and places them on his face, squinting at the screen.

"That was very good jiggery pockery. And I should know. I came first in jiggery pockery."

The Doctor takes out his screwdriver next pointing it at the screen, recalibrating it and checking the results of his analyses.

"Oh! Very good. Very, very good." He says with a beaming smile, looking excitedly at him "I would even say brilliant, except I have a space and time machine parked out back." He suddenly gets up and shakes Jim's head "What the hell, I'll say it. Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant. If I weren't getting the I'm-probably-going-to-kill-you-and-try-to-steal-th e-TARDIS vibe out of I'd invite to come along with me. Because let me tell you, what you did there is absolutely brilliant."

Jack is looking over the Doctor's shoulder, trying to see what he sees, but ending up just slumping is shoulders, and pouting ever so slightly.

"What is brilliant?" he asks, sounding frustrated.

"Oh, Jack. Come here. I'm going to show you something." He waves Jack over, placing an arm over his broad shoulders and gesturing wildly at the screen "Do you see this here. It's like a pocket universe. An universe that's like a pocket. Isn't that brilliant? Image a big bubble, that's our universe, and now imagine a smaller bubble, that's the pocket universe. Except it's nothing like that."

"But if-"

"Listen, that's not the good part. In fact, there are loads of pocket universes, so really not that impressive. But listen, Jack, here comes the impressive part. This pocket universe was grown. Welllll, not literally. It was already there. But he cultivated it, manipulating generations and generations of people so it will look just like. . ."

The Doctor turns an expectant look at Jack, who looks back at the screen and scans, for what is probably the first time, the surroundings around the falling man.

"Twenty first century London." He says in an Eureka moment, although Jim knows that he doesn't know what that means.

"TWENTY FIRST CENTURY LONDON! And surroundings. Maybe even England in its entirety, leaving a little bit to modulate and shape, need be to make him travel to other side of the world."

"Him?" Jack asks pointing at the screen.

"Him!" the Doctor overexcitedly taps the screen with a beaming smile.

"And you know who that is, Jack? No. Of course you don't. Look well, because the little wingless angel you're looking at is none other than Sherlock Holmes."

"He's kinda hot. In your typical, skinny, British way." He observes, casting a meaningful look at the Doctor that he misses, or decides to let slide.

"You're looking at one of the most brilliant minds in all of history. You're looking at the actual person, Sherlock Holmes, and all you can think is that he's kinda hot?" the Doctor throws him a disapproving look "Not that I'm saying he's not. He has really good cheekbones, look at that."

Jack snorts a laugh "The three of you could join the league of long legged man with prominent cheekbones."

The Doctor hums distractedly "Maybe later. Right now I have to save Sherlock Holmes. And no, I can't say it without smiling." He's bouncing on the balls of his feet now, still watching the screen intently, and then suddenly, he turns on his heels and runs out the door, throwing a "Come along, Jack!" behind his back.

Jack follows and Moriarty settles for rolling his eyes at the whole display.

Carefully, Jim pulls his sleeve up and programs his teleport to where he knows the TARDIS is.

He arrives there first, leaning against the blue wooden structure and waiting for the Doctor and his puppy to arrive.

It's been about five minutes that he's waiting when suddenly the TARDIS door opens, making him tumble inside and almost fall on his ass. Strong arms wrap around his middle and keep him up.

"So glad you could join us." The Doctor smugly announces while running around the console.

"Hello again." Jack whispers in his ear.

Jim promptly stands up and smooths his jacket, trying to regain some semblance of control. A violent shake of the entire structure throws him against the railings and has him flailing.

"Hold on to something!" the Doctor shouts.

He decides that when they're done with his little problem, he'll kill he Doctor slowly. Torture him a little bit first. Make him watch Jim torture Jack.

Yes, that'll be quite fun.

The Doctor is still running around the console, flipping buttons and stroking levers, grabbing a little hammer and bagging it against a few parts of the console, hiking his leg over it to reach a lever and keep it in place.

And suddenly it stops. The time and space machine settles and everything is quiet for a bit.

Jim finds his footing again and sneers at the idiots, coming up with new ways to torture them. He's getting creative.

The Doctor takes a moment to survey the monitor, checking if everything is okay. If they're in the right time and place. And then he's running out the door, tugging on Jack's wrist.

Jim follows them slowly, taking measured steps.

"Excuse me." A young blonde man rushes past them. Jim moves to one side and lets him pass. There's no need to draw attention to himself.

When he turns back the Doctor is giving him a smug look.

"You are bone dead stupid aren't you?!" he seems amused "You couldn't find the answer to your problem if it punched you in the face. Or if it rushed past you on the street." He looks at Jack and throws him a smile.

Jim does a double take to the man who rushes by him and suddenly he knows exactly who he is. Of course he does. He knows the names to every person in here, as well as their father's names and their ancestors.

"John Watson." He says, pushing the name around in his tongue.

"Oh yes." The Doctor smiles, eyes trailing after the short man "Haven't you read the books?" he asks.

"Yeah, they have an epic bromance. Loads of sexual tension in there." Jack quips helpfully, making him roll his eyes.

"Stop it." The Doctor mutters.

It makes sense. The only variable he didn't predict was the human emotions.

He shakes his head. His design was perfect. Sherlock Holmes didn't have emotions.

"No." he says firmly "Sherlock Holmes does not have emotions. He doesn't care." He says.

It's his design and no one will tell him that it's flawed.

Suddenly the Doctor his mere inches away from his face, examining his face through squinted eyes.

Jim doesn't flinch. He doesn't even blink. He only stares back, and then a smile twist the corner of his lips and he's shorter. He's fake blonde with a wide smile and a tongue peeking. Union flag plastered across his chest and he has a dirty accent.

The Doctor takes one step back at that.

_Good._ So they are clear in who has the power here.

"Stop it." He greets out, hands twitching.

Jack steps towards them and reaches for his gun.

"You heard him. Cut it off."

He smiles broadly and turns back.

"Just having a little fun." He says sweetly.

The Doctor grits his teeth and squints at him. In that moment something changes. He feels a change in the air. The Time Lord before him made a decision and he's not quite sure what it is or if he's going to like.

The Doctor places a hand on Jack's arm - the one that's still reaching for the gun – and smiles at him, something dark twisting just beneath his eyes.

"Why did Sherlock jump?" he asks calmly.

"I made him." He answers back smugly.

The Doctor rolls his eyes at him "Yes, but how?"

"I made him see that this wasn't a world for him. I made him feel stupid. I made everyone doubt him. I set the cops on a man hunt for Sherlock Holmes. And then it was only a matter of making him see that he should go out with a bang." He smirks. It had almost been too easy. Whispering the right words in Sherlock's ear and watching him jump.

Except he was supposed to find a way to trick him. He was definitely not supposed to break his perfect world.

The Doctor licks his lips and nods slowly.

"I know exactly what you have to do." He says slowly.

: : : :

Jack watches the alien constantly. The evil one with the scruff beard and the black hair. Not the one with the amazing hair and the bounce on his step, and the little waist who just begs to be bent over the railings of the TARDIS and fucked into his next regeneration.

He shakes his head and clears his throat a bit. Well, that escalated quickly.

Anyway, his attention needs to be on the other alien. At any sign of danger he is allowed to pull his gun and shoot it in the face. The Doctor said so, and that scared him a bit. The Doctor is completely against violence. There's nothing in this world that would make him resort to it. Or so Jack had thought. Apparently Rose Tyler could turn the Doctor murderous.

He's always by his side. Watching and having his back.

He watches as they twist people's lives so later on they'll connect with Sherlock's.

There's a beautiful lady who he flirts shamelessly with until her husband comes and she shrinks before him. He can see he's abusive and he's hitching to punch him in the face. But he doesn't. Later on Sherlock Holmes will make sure he's executed.

There's Detective Inspector Greg Lestrade. They don't need to twist his life much. Just make him a little more receptive to Sherlock.

The Doctor lets Jim keep the bullies in Lestrade's team and he's not quite sure why. The only answer he gets is from Jim.

"They're the ones that are going to make him fall." He simply says with a twist of his mouth in amusement.

They do nothing about Mycroft Holmes.

The only one left will be John Watson.

They're on their way to twist a little detail or two of John's life so he will join the army, when the Doctor decided they should stop for a coffee.

The walks into the coffee shop and watches as the Doctor accidently bumps into a young girl, making her scatter the pile of documents all over the floor.

"Oh, I'm so, so sorry." He apologizes, getting on his knees and helping her pick up the mess.

"It's okay."

He stands with her and piles the things on her arms again. "Jack, give us a moment."

Moriarty is already inside the coffee shop, ordering for him, paying them no mind.

Jack walks towards him and asks what he wants and what he knows the Doctor wants.

When he comes back with the Doctor's coffee and a little cupcake in hand, the girl is blushing and the Doctor is smiling brightly at her. "You'll be great, Molly Hooper. The most important girl this world as ever seen." He tells and she blushes some more, ducking her head a little and then waiving goodbye, before she takes her leave.

Jack raises an eyebrow but says nothing, he just sits down and pushes the tiny cupcake towards the Doctor, which earns him a huge smile with a little bit of tongue. And oh, he's going to have dreams about that tongue.

: : : :

In the end, what really matter is an apartment.

221B Baker Street. He watches as Sherlock walks in and takes a look around. Grateful for Mrs. Hudson even though he will never say it out loud. He decides that it'll do and starts settling in.

The rent is a bit high and he should have a room-mate. It's the logical thing to do, except no one would endure him.

Some professor overhears him and the next thing he knows, Sherlock Holmes is being introduced to John Watson.

"Okay. Our work here is done. Come along Jack." He calls heading for the TARDIS, both hands shoved in his pockets.

"That's it?" he asks, jogging after the Doctor.

"That's it. All he needed was a friend." He says simply.

"So it's done." He's a bit sad, really. That means the Doctor will dump him back on earth and be on his merry way home "Nothing else we could do?"

"Nope. Sherlock will figure out one way to not die."

Jack nods and enters the TARDIS.

"What about Moriarty?" He asks.

"Don't worry about him. We had a little chat and he won't cause any more trouble, playing with people's life like that."

"How do you know?"

The Doctor frowns and flicks a couple of buttons "I'll show you."

The TARDIS lurches into life as they move through time and space. They don't land. The Doctor actives a cloaking device, making it invisible and they float over the hospital's roof.

Sherlock and Moriarty are talking to each other. Moriarty seems disappointed about something. He's throwing a fit.

And just like that Sherlock climbs onto the edge of the roof.

Moriarty smirks and his eyes turn to the spot where the Doctor is standing.

"He can see us?"

"Yes." The Doctor's face is a hard mask. He knows exactly what is going to happen next.

Sherlock starts laughing and climbs down from the ledge. He turns to Moriarty. There seems to be an impasse between the two of them.

Sherlock is winning, he thinks.

"He made him perfect." The Doctor mutters "At his own image."

Moriarty extends his hand to shake Sherlock's and next thing he knows there's a gun in his mouth and he shoots himself.

His body crumbles to the floor. A hallo of blood his forming around his head.

"All God's fall, Jack." The Doctor tells him, going back inside the TARDIS just as Sherlock stands on the ledge again, writing his note to John who watches from a safe distance.

The doors to the TARDIS close and he doesn't see Sherlock fall, although he knows that it's going to happen.

"THAT'S IT?" he screams.

No, no, no. This is not right. They were supposed to save that man's life and he just goes and dies anyway.

"HE DIES?"

The Doctor smirks at him, like it's the funniest thing "Don't be daft. That's Sherlock Holmes. Of course he doesn't die."

Jack clenches his teeth.

"Why don't you go outside see for yourself."

They moved? He didn't sense anything.

Jack carefully opens the doors and he can see John Watson at Sherlock's grave. And beyond that he can see Sherlock himself, watching John from a safe distance.

"But how?" he asks snapping his head.

The Doctor shrugs and gives him his I'm-not-telling-you smile.

Jack shakes his head at him.

"Come on, Jack. One trip. Whenever and Wherever you want." He offers and Jack as to smile at that. Maybe he still can get some time with his Doctor.


End file.
